GameTopius - The Geeks Paradise.

Due to my lust for a higher Gamerscore (and a bigger e-penis) I made the critical blunder of playing Atari’s Ghostbusters: The Video Game on the hardest difficulty, Professional, which no doubt hindered my overall enjoyment of the game. For that I blame myself. What I do not blame myself for is the squandered opportunity for greatness in what could have been Ghostbusters’ long-awaited return to form after 1989’s half-assed Ghostbusters 2.

Sure, there’s a lot to like here. The graphics are lovely, with the downright gorgeous glowing proton lasers standing out. There’s a nice variety of weapons, including a slime sprayer (slime-tethering is quite awesome) and a stasis beam for slowing down ghastlies and ghoulies. Not to mention the fact that slamming a ghost into a trap never gets old. The game even features spot-on replications of Peter Venkman and the gang with highly-detailed movements and character models. The original actors return to supply the voices for their ghostbusting counterparts, though it’s clear at times that some of them (I’m looking at you, Bill) were phoning it in (Hold for “Who you gonna call?” reference). Even Ghostbuster nemesis and total douchebag Walter Peck is back to raise more accusations of fraud. Apparently, that apocalypse he witnessed at the close of the first film did little to sway his skepticism. Hippies never learn. But, while hearing the actual character voices (where’s Rick Moranis!?) is a real treat, the script could’ve used some work. There’s not a single memorable line of dialogue here. No “Mother puss-bucket.” No “Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!” No “If someone asks you if you’re a God you say…” Everybody with me now. “YES!”

But the dialogue is the least of this game’s problems. First and foremost… Ghostbusters' A.I. Apparently, the Ghostbusters have become slower (and dumber) in their old age, which means you’re going to be spending most of the game reviving them after they’ve been knocked to the floor by a charging slimer or flaming projectile. In fact, you’re going to be spending so much time doing this that the key to defeating most of the game’s bosses becomes more about keeping your buddies on their feet than actually battling the monster. Oh, fun! And, due to the veteran Ghostbusters having little regard for their new rookie, don’t expect them to be in any rush to help you back up after you’ve hit the floor, which means you’re going to be dying, a lot. To make things even better, each death is followed by an excruciatingly long load screen that’s accompanied by the Ray Parker Jr. classic Ghostbusters (Who You Gonna Call?) song, which is fine the first time you hear it, but not so much the seventy-fifth. I swear during the boss fight at the end of the Library level I started playing the game with my TV muted.

To make matters worse, the game is short, very short. Definitely not long enough to garner a sixty dollar price tag. It took me ten hours to beat it, but only because of (as previously mentioned) my masochistic desire for more achievement points, which meant I kept getting set back at the game’s poorly placed checkpoints, which meant repeated viewings of cut scenes and in-game dialogue sequences. There are few things more enjoyable than listening to Egon and Ray ramble on for a straight minute about Gozer and the end of the world, only to get immediately killed by a charging baby statue, then have to listen to the entire conversation all over again. Throw in the aforementioned load screen and the soothing sounds of Ray Parker Jr., and you’ve got a recipe for frustration. Eat up!

For you nostalgia freaks, the first half of the game is nothing more than a rehash of the original movie, with the only reference to the second film being the painting of Vigo the Carpathian snuggled away in the Ghostbusters’ firehouse. (It talks, too!) Yes, you’ll visit such familiar locales as the Hotel Sedgewick and the New York Public Library, where you’ll hunt classic baddies including Slimer and the Ghostbusters’ first nemesis, the Librarian (“Shhhhh”). There’s even an epic, if ultimately anti-climactic, duel with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, who’s become a total pushover during the last twenty-five years, considering how simple he is to defeat. Other places you’ll explore include Times Square, a Museum, and the game’s last level, Central Park, which looks so much like a battle arena from a Mortal Kombat game that I half expected the final boss to be a fifty foot undead Johnny Cage demon complete with split ball-punch action.

And that’s what this entire game feels like at times… A swift punch to the balls. Sure, it has its moments. Hell, it even has a few great moments like a re-enactment of the hotel ballroom shootout from the first film (“Nice shootin’, Tex!”). But, with so many problems and the total lack of cooperative play in the campaign (Really?) Atari’s Ghostbusters: The Video Game is at best a weekend rental for fans desperate for something to hold them over until Ghostbusters 3. For you non-fans out there… well…

The Good

Graphics: Even with framerate hitches, this game looks terrific, with the character models looking exactly like the actors they represent. The glowing particle effects on the proton beam are especially beautiful to behold.

Voices: Yeeup, from Bill Murray to even Ernie Hudson, all of the original 'Busters are here. Even Annie Potts makes an appearance as disgruntled secretary Janine.

Nostalgia: Sure it gets a little tiresome, seeing the same ol' same ol', but there is a small thrill whenever something familiar from the films appears in the game, from Slimer, to Stay Puft, to even a small cameo from Vigo the Carpathian, there's a lot of little treats for all you fans out there.

The Bad

Length: It's short. On normal difficulty you'll bust your way through this game in five hours max, and there's little replay value in the single player campaign.

Framerate: Sure the game is beautiful, but when a swarm of ghosts start flying, the framerate can slow down to a crawl.

A.I.: Your Ghostbusting counterparts seem to lack any and all sense of self preservation, which sees them continually making stupid decisions, which usually sends them sprawled onto the floor.

The Ugly

Reviving: You thought Dom and Baird got knocked down a lot in Gears of War? Just wait till you see Ray and Egon in action.

Load Screens: Every time you die, get ready for a long load screen upwards of 20 seconds. And get ready to die a lot!

Ray Parker Jr.: When there's something strange... in the neighborhood... Who Ya Gonna Call? 'Nuff said.

Recommendation: Atari's Ghostbusters is at best a weekend rental. It's short, buggy, but full of nostalgia and some great moments for all of you fans out there. If you're not a fan of the movies, you probably won't get anything out of the game.

Playthrough Details: I played the game on the hardest difficulty, Professional. To get the most enjoyment possible out of the game, play it on normal.

< Prev		Next >